a collection of things that make me laugh, smile or hungry.
because my natural face is bitch face
words can’t even. i’m beyond excited this day has come at last!
FUN SIZE RECORD RELEASE SHOW
SATURDAY, APRIL 6
Hey what's your first name?sblumy
If you are terribly curious, you could find out in a few click click clicks.
when i say i’ve been off the radar, i mean i’ve literally been off the radar.
caverns of ice to warm my heart.
this is real, it is delicious, and it’s where i had breakfast.
my life is surreal these days.
Hey, look what I/we did the other day!
shoot first. eat later.
There are few things which make a cold, wet, and miserably dreary day tolerable:
Snuggling (duh), Netflix (and snuggling), and making homemade soup.
Finding myself alone and without internet this past New Year’s Eve limited my options to snuggling with Mr. Kitty or making soup.
Oh, God. Saying this out loud vindicates my theory of being a closeted widowed cat-lady.
Full disclosure, I also utilized my stew time to try and complete the entire Lord of the Rings extended edition in one sitting.
Good vegetarian gravy. What has become of me?
Well, judge me not by the content of my goings on, but by the ingredients of my soup. For it was a proverbial mouth explosion of flavor.
Vegetarian French Onion Soup
- 6-8 white onions (but really, you can never have enough)
- A smidge of sugar
- A smidge of salt
- 3 tbsp margarine
- 4 cups of water
- 4 cups veggie broth
- 1 tbsp (or so) flour for thickening purposes
- A sprig of thyme (I used 2 because I can never have enough thyme. Nyuck nyuck nyuck)
- 1 bottle of wine, divided (1/4 cup for cooking, the remainder for drinking, duh)
- Old/dried up bread
- Fancy cheese (I prefer Muenster)
Pull out your biggest pot, medium heat it up, and let your butter melt all over the bottom. Slice up the gagillion pounds of onions into slim but generous lengths. Add your onions and toss in the salt and sugar. Put a cover on those babies and cook for 10 minutes.
Here’s where Lord of the Rings comes into play: Caramelizing onions is a tedious and lengthy process, requiring the frequent stir to avoid burning. So sit back, but not too far, pop in a VHS, and for the next 90 minutes, monitor your pot and stir every so often.
When the onions start to brown, add a spoonful of water every 5 minutes you get up t stir, and mind the crusty goodness that will cultivate the bottom of your pot. Continue this ritual for the next 30 minutes.
When the onions get as brown as my epidermis during the summer (which is very), stir in your flour. Add water, veggie broth, and thyme, and bring to a boil.
Reduce heat and simmer for 20 minutes. Add the 1/4 cup of white wine you haven’t already downed, and let it stew for another 10 minutes.
In these 10 minutes, set your oven to broil and chop up your dusty old bread into bite-sized cubes.
I put my soup into pretty little oven-friendly ramekins because I’m adorable. Add crusty cubes. Cover the tops with cheese. Place your savory cups of glory on a baking sheet and broil for about 10 minutes, until the cheese is as golden as Bea Arthur.
Remove, ingest, and lose your mind over what just happened in your kitchen.
this is how I feel about having cut off all my hair.
The hardest part about pumping yourself up to visit the dreaded Church Hill Farm Fresh Redbox
is knowing you’ve got to make a return visit.
This is why I’ve yet to make a make use of its “convenience.”
Dear Church Hillians—
Where does one acquire not-questionable Chinese food within reasonable proximity?
Or, is this as distant a dream as finding a decent bagel in Richmond?
terribly sad the holidays are over
as i can’t get away with wrapping myself like a present
for another 12 months
best new year’s kiss i could’ve hoped for
here i stand, one year ago today.
365 days later, and just as alone as i was back then.
i’m starting to accept the beauty that can be solitude.
2012 can suck it.
bring it on 2013.
shoot first. eat later.
I’d like to take a moment to thank the first masochistic genius who looked at their virginal nosh and thought, “You know what would make this better? Tearing out its innards, scraping it hollow, and stuffing it with a cacophony of flavor.”
I imagine the way most of America feels about bacon is the same way I feel about stuffing. Any food can be made better by filling it with greatness. If it can be hollowed, it can be stuffed, and while the mushroom isn’t the most adventurous vestibule to fill, it’s a crowd-pleasing classic that is perfect for
hoarding for yourselfholiday parties.
Making one’s own stuffing can seem daunting as the greatest challenge lays within identifying the ingredients in our favorite filler food. But rest easy and consider this, anxious reader: Casseroles, stews, smorgasbords, Velveeta— these are all familiar comfort staples comprised of occult (but delicious) ingredients.
We all remember the questionable tupperware in the back of our parent’s freezer whose contents, shrouded by layers of spore-like frost, mysteriously grew on a weekly basis. Yet when its reservoirs were emptied each month like a uterus mourning another childless cycle, we didn’t question the ingredients in our steamy bowl. It smelled wonderful, tasted better, and warmed us to the marrow.
Ah, to be young.
The beauty of a stuffing is that it can be made from a plethora of ingredients that can be finely chopped and melded together. These are ingredients I used, but get creative to make it your own! Keep it fun, keep it fresh, and you can’t go wrong. Don’t be afraid, grab my hand and a
bottleglass of wine, and dive in!
- 18 or so mushrooms, decapped
- 1 large onion, chopped and caramelized
- a cup or so of bread crumbs
- 3/4 cup or so of fresh parmesan cheese
- a smidge more parmesan cheese for topping
- a drizzling of olive oil
- 1 egg yolk for binding (optional, but encouraged)
- stems of your decapitated ‘shrooms
- 3 or more peppers of the red, orange, and yellow variety (green pepper scares me, as it is too dominating for my palette)
- 2 or so cloves of fresh garlic
- handful of fresh parsley
- handful of fresh basil, crisped for a minute in a frying pan
Preheat oven to 350. While caramelizing onions, chop ingredients and mix in a large bowl. Admire the colors of
the windyour creation until the onions are softened, then add them along with the parmesan, bread crumbs, and egg yolk to your bowl. Place mushroom caps in a baking pan and drizzle with olive oil. Using your hand or spoon or whatever tool will effectively stuff the mushrooms instead of your mouth, fill each cap, then top with parmesan.
Bake for 15-20 minutes while finishing off your
vatglass of wine and congratulate yourself on being the master of your stuffing anxiety.