Blogs are for poor people.

Right off the bat (no pun intended), they’re obviously real.

This is why Night was invented— so vampires could lead a normal, functioning lifestyle like us non-blood seekers.  In fact, many of us visit a vampire-originated operation on a daily basis.  In 1927, the 7-11 company (originally Southland Ice Company) pioneered the concept of convenience stores in a small town outside of Dallas Texas.  

Little is known about the genius who first conceived the idea, but that’s only to be assumed, as he was a fairly unheard of (and rather portly) vampire by the name of Vladamir “Jangles” Stotsky. Townsfolk came to know him as “Jangles” after years of him sporting a ring of assorted keys that he had collected from years of moving from town to town.  His travels, though many, were always in vain, as his search for a grocer that stayed open after sunset continually ended in disappointment.  Forced to live off the fat of the land to which he so loathed, “Jangles” finally ended his nearly decade-long search in 1927, when he settled just outside of Dallas, Texas.  

With the combination of his life savings and the great fortune he had received upon selling his remaining slaves, “Jangles” opened the first 7-11 convenience store just miles down the road from the graveyard in which he resided.  Finally, with a grocery store to visit during the only hours he could physically be outdoors, Vladamir “Jangles” Stotsky had a place to call his home.

The End.

*Apologies for ending a sentence in such a heinous preposition.