a collection of things that make me laugh, smile or hungry.
because my natural face is bitch face
bruised chin from getting hit with a ball.
a football, that is.
i realize it’s only slightly discernible, but hey; when am i going to get to say that again?
hello to fall means goodbye to shaving.
Vagina is for lovers.
Vampires. A dryed-out, beaten-to-death topic of pop culture discussions. Real or not, and if so, who do we need to be on the lookout for?*
Right off the bat (no pun intended), they’re obviously real.
This is why Night was invented— so vampires could lead a normal, functioning lifestyle like us non-blood seekers. In fact, many of us visit a vampire-originated operation on a daily basis. In 1927, the 7-11 company (originally Southland Ice Company) pioneered the concept of convenience stores in a small town outside of Dallas Texas.
Little is known about the genius who first conceived the idea, but that’s only to be assumed, as he was a fairly unheard of (and rather portly) vampire by the name of Vladamir “Jangles” Stotsky. Townsfolk came to know him as “Jangles” after years of him sporting a ring of assorted keys that he had collected from years of moving from town to town. His travels, though many, were always in vain, as his search for a grocer that stayed open after sunset continually ended in disappointment. Forced to live off the fat of the land to which he so loathed, “Jangles” finally ended his nearly decade-long search in 1927, when he settled just outside of Dallas, Texas.
With the combination of his life savings and the great fortune he had received upon selling his remaining slaves, “Jangles” opened the first 7-11 convenience store just miles down the road from the graveyard in which he resided. Finally, with a grocery store to visit during the only hours he could physically be outdoors, Vladamir “Jangles” Stotsky had a place to call his home.
*Apologies for ending a sentence in such a heinous preposition.
well.. it IS our last year on earth.
happy new year, errybody.
The 30 minutes it takes for pizza to be delivered is the longest span of time that exists in the universe.
raisins are grapes from the futuremyself and effects of the Night
i crashed a wedding reception yesterday
and left this “well-wishes” card for the happy couple
Theirs was a forbidden romance.
But Beauxregard would love Constance for eternity, nonetheless.
I am so thankful I’m not cool and have the stress of a status quo to maintain.the educated me